swizble

2009-07-08T10:14:00.002+08:00

I switched to HERE a long time ago, in case you haven't realised. It's been almost a year.

2008-12-09T22:44:00.000+08:00

Let's see who sees this, shall we?
Muhahahaha

2008-10-31T01:53:00.005+08:00

I'll still retain this.
for us all to have a laugh at how laughable i was when i was.. younger.
well, i couldnt bear to delete this.
neither do i want to continue with blogger.
its just too common. not unique enough for a unique person like me.
I'll still visit here on an almost daily basis. so if you wanna tag, here would be fine.
and it doesnt really matter if you relink me or not. it doesnt affect me at all. to me, links are just to help me to navigate to other people's websites, just a convenience kind of thing.
i dont like my blog to be filled with add-ons like these. hence the change.
but this shall remain. and i will continue to use it. but not in a post-post manner.

i am seriously hoping the the switching of web server will also signify a switch to other forms of education.
it has been a mentally challenging year for me, despite the image that has been portrayed by me.
i always am jublilant when surrounded by people, all things seem to fade away - at least for those noisy loud moments where i get.. erm.. nutty.
but still.
perhaps im mentally weak, but the reverse psychology tactic that NYJC has been using is too overwhelming for me. in front of me, all i see are grades dropping and all borderline, or worse, an absolute fail.
or maybe, this is the end of my academic potential. maybe i had exhausted them all. obviously, my mathematical 'abilities' have already reached the 'maximum'. and it seems my physics is about to give way too.
ah. enough lamenting of my results.
anyway, with the 'A's coming next year, i see no prospects in continuing.
you could say im pessimistic.
but i would say its NYJC who has successfully crushed my self-confidence.

so now, here are my options.
1. ask if NYJC can switch my H2 maths to H1 maths and switch my H1 economics to H2 economics
2. GO TO IMI!!!!
3. go poly study tourism
4. find other private options
5. stay the course

2008-10-31T01:42:00.000+08:00

華文已結束了。

2008-10-29T19:40:00.002+08:00

if i need not think.
if i could return.
is it neccessary in the first place?
i do not know.
but i do know, its hard.
if it were clearer, simpler.
if i need not think.

2008-10-27T19:32:00.002+08:00

i felt so intimidated today -for being poor.
i was walking along a street full of bungalows at bukit timah.
i felt threatened.
i felt small.
i felt poor.

the rich-poor divide.

2008-10-25T22:15:00.004+08:00

singapore international photography festival @Old School was great.

of course, we had to climb this goddamned long stairs up.

some photos were thought provoking.
others were emotion riddened.
some invoked memories.
others were plain nice.
somw were meaningless.
others made me want to go travelling real bad.
seriously, i could have spent another 4 or 5 hours up there looking at them. even withoud food. even though i was starving.
i'll pay the one at lasalle a visit some day.
my church is just opposite lasalle.

by the way, i realised my MSN was downgraded thanks to sebastian. now i have to download live plus again.

2008-10-25T11:16:00.002+08:00

many thanks to sebastian.
he installed this 'movie make' thingy in my laptop without my permission.
now i cant remove his 'movie-maker programme' because my setup.exe had got some problems. i suspect its because of that. god knows if its infested with viruses.
because my laptop's got problems starting up.
my anti-virus has got problems too.
screw you sebastian.

2008-10-24T00:21:00.002+08:00

AUGUST:Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless (somewhat?). ~~Firm and has leadership qualities~~. Knows how to console others. Too generous and ~~egoistic~~ . Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. ~~Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked.~~ Easily jealous. Observant. ~~Careful and cautious.Thinks quickly.~~ Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Sensitive but not petty. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. ~~Talented in the arts, music and defense. Poor resistance against illnesses. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.~~

2008-10-22T01:33:00.002+08:00

i want to eat.
eat like there's no tomorrow.

2008-10-20T20:46:00.001+08:00

go figure.

2008-10-19T18:36:00.002+08:00

its been a fantastic day.
its great going thru clarke quay on a kayak.
we even went up the steps at boat quay to get macdonald's
but i got more than i bargained for.
instead of a dark sexy tan, i got a lobster-red burn on my arms, neck and even my thighs. well, i never put on the spray cover and i always roll up my shorts. so.
the burn will look pretty sexy for a couple of days. before they start peeling. and then, i shall try to hide them.
we'll be going again.

2008-10-17T18:06:00.003+08:00

daryl thinks he's got the entrepreneur blood in him.
he went to his grandma house today during chinese lecture and had a chit-chat with his grandfather.
he realised that his grandfather had started his own business, a painting kind of business. i think its painitng furniture those kind. and he did all sorts of odd jobs before that. like those hawker boys and bus drivers. its tough when you had to do this kinda menial jobs. but i think when you become old, when you look back and reminisce, you will go,' oh, what a tough life i had back then. but its kinda fun. i get to try all sorts of jobs and try all kinds of different things. its cool.'
daryl then realised that all his uncles, in his paternal side too, were entrepreneurs.
his grandfather was one.
his biggest uncle started a furniture and design company.
his dad started an aircon kind of company. i dont exactly know what he does.
his third uncle recently started a business that extends to china and thailand and where else i do not know.
his forth uncle deals with cars.
so, perhaps the entrepreneur spirit is in me.
on the walk back home, daryl decided he shall be an entrepreneur.

2008-10-15T16:13:00.003+08:00

my results are out today.
general paper i got an 'E', 48%.
H1 economics was 48% too.
H1 chinese was an 'E' too, having 74/160
H2 mathematics was a mere 14%. a 'U' grade.
H2 physics was 41%, which is a sub-pass grade, an 'S'.
H2 geography was 66%, a 'B'.

yea. maths was horrific. i know i gave it up during the promos to focus on the other subjects. but apparently, it didnt deliver. my maths was never good. though the results were kinda expected, still, i couldnt help but feel disappointed for my mathematics.
just now cunkuang was giving the how-could-anybody-get-14-for-maths face when he heard that i got 14. yea. he didnt mean it. but though i said that it maths doesnt matter fpr me 'cos i gave it up, i was still pretty upset about it. getting less than a quarter of the marks for a paper is just dumb. plain dumb. shows how fucking retarded i am when it comes to maths.. but i couldnt help not knowing maths.. i mean, given the choice, who would want to give up on any of his subjects? maths is anti-daryl. very anti-daryl.
by the looks of it, geography was the only subject i did well for.

i've got nothing to type about for now.
well, more like i dont want to go on about it.

2008-10-14T21:37:00.002+08:00

i've got my costume already!
went with jiahao to bugis to get our costumes.
shall keep you all in suspense then.
but its not woody anymore.

anyway, i've got it figured out.
the money wasnt mine to begin with.
that was merely extra income.

2008-10-13T23:50:00.003+08:00

today must have been one of the worse days i've ever had.
firstly, PW lecture was boring to the max and that mrs boo was literally screaming into the microphone. is she hard on hearing or what? my eardrums were bursting! PW lessons were no better.
secondly, i now have a stomachache, which is giving me the runs.
thridly, a pimple breakout just occured. i reckon i have 6 new pimples today.
forthly, physics lecture too, was bad. very bad.
i got like what? 19.5 out of 50 for my paper 3 and 25.5 out of 60 for my paper 2.
thats a fail.
and i was banking very much on physics.
though i think i would pass, though i reckon im better than at least 10 percent of the school, pardon my erm, lack of humility, but yea.
the main thing is, my grades arent improving. its stagnent. in fact, its worse. how can i even think of the 'A's in this situation? if my grades dont buck up, then i may be stuck with this sucky grades for 'A's. which is not good. so what if i can promote but get lousy grades?
i dont want that. seriously.
fifth, my google adsense account got disabled. google said they detected clicking activity that did not result from genuine interest. so goes my 300 bucks. but im setting up them again, at a desperate attempt to earn money. only, if its successful, no more clicks from me. and neither will i call people to click for me. i'll just let it increase naturally. less money is better than no money.
still, it may be God's reminder to me that i've been too money-focused these days. actually, i sort of realised how obsessed with earning money i was a couple of days back then. so it was kind of a timely reminder.
though i still hope i can put up new ads. but i will reign in my greediness for money.
money does not make the world go round.
lastly, my cca.
at a meeting with th team just now, i declared that we could not participate in the 'A' divisions next year sort. saying it out loud sort of made the news absolute. it made the decision final. it made it real, undisputable. the cca's kind of screwed up now, honestly, what with all that huha going on.
in fact, everything's screwed up today. academically, cca wise, my health, the boredom that stifles me throughout the day, the already-vanished 300 dollars and that the should-i-remain-in-JC question popped up again.
well, except for the fact that Loy's online. which means the sharing folders could be updated. which also means my biennale @south beach development post will be edited once more.
ah.
damned. its been a bad day.
if only i could wake up tomorrow and realise its just a dream. or better, a lucid dream.

2008-10-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

i was returning home from church on a bus.
because the bus stop is in close proximity to little india, there are many indians/bangladashis boarding the bus as well.
this aint any racist post, by the way.
i was just amazed at how willing they were to squeeze in a bus to allow others to board.
even those at the back willingly squeezed themselves to be as packed as the front in order to allow more people to board the bus.
thats very rare on a bus.
how many times must a bus driver shout before we move a tiny bit?
hmm.
but we do get frustrated and angry when we cant get on a bus because its too squeezy, or so it seems. only when the bus went off can we see the back; space for us to stand comfortably.

they are better than the females from china who arrive, i think.
the loud, inconsiderate and most detestful of all, non-stop high pitched noises emitted by them.
the worst thing of all- there seems to be a proliferation of china-born, or rather, china-accent, females, who have, in my opinion, no benefit to us all.
which gets on my nerves. it follows me wherever i go; on the bus, the mrt, in town and even in sembawang.
damned them.

2008-10-09T23:12:00.003+08:00

so i went to the singapore arts biennale @south beach development with tricia and loy, after we went touring at PHS and lunch at MOS burger.

this is supposed to be filled with soap bars. lots of them.
but the elements of weather probably washed them away.
there's a distinct soap smell hanging around though.

this 'one hundred years of solitude' wall is awesome. not just the photos thingy.
but its so white, standing in the midst of the city. and in such
an urban landscape, solitude must be hard to come by.
so its sort of like an ironical thing to me, yeh know.

you would thing the wall is small. think again.

see how minute i am?

this exhibit is a collection of the remmitances sent home by phillipinos aboard.

and this is really really cool.
its paint on the wall and you can only view it without gaps
from one particular angle, or you would see this.

this would be the perfect view.
it looks like its a laser projection, but it isnt.

this is.. haha

this kind of give me the creeps.
the lighted swing just swing back and forth.

this saloon thing was great!

...i realised that one side is of the saloon has proper mirrors while
the other 'mirror' is actually an identical room on the other side.
it is exact same copy to the point that the clocks are even made opposite.

on the right mirrors of the room..
on the left mirrors..
you see?
theres no mirror, just an identical room.

then we went to the singapore river to view
the 'mist' performance, which is part of the biennale.

of course, there's dinner after that at shukudo.
the kind of behaviour expected by daryl.
it that the right spelling anyway?

the mushrooms were fantastic!

me and tricia had this again.
though the mango bits seems less and smaller.
but its still much more than what you would get outside.

by the way, the Singapore International Photograhpy Festival is up. im going there next!

2008-10-08T16:28:00.002+08:00

today i had kayak training.
you might say, straight after promos, got training, a bit the sian huh.
indeed, the prospect of having cca almost straight after promos are boring.
just when im getting used to life without cca.
however, today was slightly different.
for one, the coach wasnt around.
so the four of us, well , the rest ponned, zhanpeng, catherine, gentson and me went to kayak to the esplanade. i even went up to the merlion.
but i still cant use a K1 and i even capsized in a T1.
damned.
was quite tired too. been long since i kayaked.

2008-10-07T11:54:00.002+08:00

after a week of no school, after the promos, going back to school for post-promos activities and lessons doesnt appeal to be at all, abeilt the much shorter, less lectures, no tutorials days ahead.
but still, after not going to school for the past week, school sounds boring. ok, when was it not? what with the upcoming project work. and im sure my school will force us to come up with something for service learning.
speaking of which, i dont see why we had to attend the service learning workshop thingy.
do we need to attend it?
i mean, the service learning representative aint there for nuts.
so unless the school scrap the post of an SL Rep, i dont see any sense in attending that seminar.
another dreadful addition to our post-promos timetable- oral presentation, written report and insights and reflections for our project work. it does not appeal to me at all. in fact, its so revolting and repulsive. its murderous. its out to kill us. its out there to occupy our in-the-teachers-opinion-we-have-oh-so-much-free-time-that-we-dont-know-what-to-do-with them.
i want my free time!
to hell with project work.

2008-10-06T12:00:00.001+08:00

promos over!

2008-10-05T18:25:00.003+08:00

tomorrow shall be last paper; physics paper 1 and 2.
its of vital importance, although i estimate that the time spent on studying is approximately 4hours in the entire oh-so-long-and-so-stupid-middle-of-exams-one-week-break.
its killing me!
so much for planning to catch up on mathematics after the promos.. i cant even study when the promos are still ongoing!
ahh. shucks.
after the promos, school's as usual.
project work will take on a new dimension.
oral presentations are such a bore.
i hate public speaking. i hate doing such stuff. which is probably the reason why im not active back then in ncc. when i heard that im one of the cell group leaders in 1520 as well as chairman for the upcoming camp, i was shell-shocked.
i hate public speaking.
or rather, i hate it when attention is so focused on me.
actually, to use a more accurate word, fear.
which is why speaking one-on-one with people i dont really know frightens me too.
oh. and after the promos, the-oh-so-many-trainings will resume.
i hope that for the holidays trainings, they'll all be on the morning.
so i can go out, or gym, or, if i had to, go to church, or well, just laze around in the heat.
afternoon trainings are such a bore. i mean, you cant do much in the morning, except to wait for the training to start. always before afternoon trainings, whatever i do, i have to glance at the clock and you cant focus on the task at hand because you have no peace of mind, knowing that training's coming and you dont want to be late. and then, after the training, you would have no time for entertainment. i mean, its the night already. what could you do except staring at your television? well, perhaps, playing ping pong with jiahao in the dead middle of the night?
morning trainings are much more welcome.
expeditionary kayaking would be welcome too. such as the upcoming attempt to kayak to clarke quay. who knows if the authorities may stop us? going round-ubin would be great too. and, if possible, kayaking to the southern islands and back again. i've read the estimated time for going round pulau ubin for expedition, 4 to 5 hrs, 22km. the trip to the southern islands would be 25km, 5 to 8 hours.
by the way, i have got a stomachache again.

2008-10-03T14:50:00.003+08:00

it feels as if its the holidays, really.
by the way people, contribute to my halloween costume budget by clicking on those fantastic new features i've got here on my blog.
if not, i'll have no choice but to dress up as an army recruit. i'll get an NS-boy haircut and get a NS-style spectacles. yes, the spectacles have to be standardised too.
Irvin and Irfan had better not copy this idea. ITS MINE.
wait. but that costs money too. not to mention the outstanding debts i have.
but on the upside, i have people owing me cash too.

2008-10-02T15:14:00.002+08:00

yesterday was CHILDREN'S DAY.
damned.
i never celebrated it.
i never did anything children-ly.
oh. the word's childish.
instead, i went to church to plan for the upcoming 1520 camp in december.
and i was stuck at home too, watching gladiator and many more.
but not studying.
heck, i havent got the mood to study, even though everything hinges on my physics.
if i fail physics, thats it.
i no longer need to wear school uniforms anymore.
but that would mean im going to NS at the age of 20.
omg. thats so fucking old.
wait. that would mean i would be in the same batch as my brother.
no. no. cannot. cannot.

by the way, im addicted to mos burger. i had them for lunch and dinner yesterday. chocolate granola bars are soon to be added to the list. im gonna stock up on them later at teo chuan kee ( my local minimart)

2008-09-30T22:48:00.002+08:00

its raining!
which means i cant go running!
how convenient, seeing how much i loathe running.
although i havent been doing so for a couple of months.
my already miniscule calves are shrinking even more, as my tummy gets increasingly wholesome. and my thighs are getting flabbier too.
getting fatter should be everywhere get fat. not just the tummy(and the god-damned love handles!).
so much for my since-my-father-eat-so-much-and-still-doesnt-get-fat-means-i-will-be-the-same-cos-i-inherited-his-skinny-genes theory.
it just doesnt make sense at all.

2008-09-28T23:59:00.034+08:00

Formula 1 singtel singapore grand prix 2008!

met up with tricia and loy to go watch F1.
(this photo was when we were at the marina square side, with the banners gone)

at first we toured the area to find spots to watch the race.
couldnt find any; we went to marina square and suntec city, but they were all boarded up.
we were like so upset that we could not catch the race at all.
its like, an international sporting event held in singapore, so close and yet, so far.
theres banners blocking up the 2nd layer of wire meshing. by the way, the 2nd layer of wire meshing is just 2 metres away from the track.
resigned to the fate that we might just have to settle for the roar of the racing cars, we went for dinner at kenny rogers.
then we went out and the race had already begun for a couple of minutes.
the sound was deafening.
nobody at home watching it could ever imagine that. the televison cant mimick that sound, no way!
we went to the wire meshing-with the banners. we couldnt go too near, the police cordoned it off.

the view from suntec city

on a closer look, the black F1 banners covering the wire mesh was actually translucent. its more opaque than the advertisements that you see on the bus from the inside of the bus.

but we saw something very very important- people climbing slightly above the banners at the wire mesh over at marina square's side.
so we went there.
indeed, we were granted access to the 2nd wire mesh.
and we could see more clearly; the entire car could be seen zooming pass.
so i occassionally climbed up a bit to get a no-banner-view. after all, the banners are still up.
and taking photos were a chore.
BUT.
i saw that parts of the banners were drooping on certain sections of the wire mesh.
so tricia and loy told me to rip the banners off.
so i tried.
it was hard.
my fingers have got minor abrasions now.

the part of the banner that was clipped attached to the wire mesh

the malays on our right initially gave us a shocked face, before they started to help rip off their sections too.
the people behind me were like, 加油！加油！
they were so encouraging.
and the uncle in green shirt on our left was smiling at us and he helped to rip off the banner at our side, along with a lady.
after the deed was done, people around were happy.
they cheered, i think.
when i turned around, a couple in light blue shirt even gave me a thumbs up!
thats the kind of atmosphere you get when you watch it live.
thats the unrivalled atmosphere you get with the crowd.
it beats sitting at home and listening to commentators.

the crowd's behind us!

altough the drawback was that we didnt know who's who and we didnt get to catch the crashes.
but heck, we are just 2 metres from the track!

catch a glimpse of it!
watching the F1 cars zoom pass!
hearing the roar of the engines!
not to mention the amazing atmosphere!
what could possibly beat that?
but after a while, it got a bit boring.
after all, its just cars zooming by.
and the sound was getting a tad bit deafening.
my ears were ringing.
so we went to TCC.
then we went home. im looking forward to 9th october; singapore arts biennale@south beach development.
as well as the upcoming halloween party!

bet you lazy bums stayed at home to watch it.
or you poor little things are studying whilst the race was on.

i realised its getting hard to meet up as a group.
but we still do in small groups ya?

2008-09-26T22:08:00.003+08:00

my treacherous stomach, along with my digestive system have staged a mutiny.
a mere cup of milo caused stomach upset.

2008-09-26T20:40:00.002+08:00

damned.
theres only physics left.
and its got to be spread over the course of 2 weeks; the next 2 mondays.
its time the nanyang junior college go for a management crash course.
they are badly in need of one.

meanwhile, it feels as if examinations are over.
although im banking very very much on physics.
but still.

2008-09-23T19:45:00.002+08:00

i had mango chicken for dinner.
not bad.
but i think you need lots of discipline to cook that.
for one, HOW CAN YOU RESIST NOT EATING UP THE MANGO?
mangoes are the best fruits on earth.
besdes, how can you dare risk wasting that mango cooking it?
what if it turns out horrid?
it'll be such a great waste.

my dad just reminded me yesterday of the possibilities that foodstuff containing milk that are produced from non-china countries may be unsafe: they may be made in other countries, but the milk can be sourced from china.
damn. which chocolate is safe now?
and i think the AVA is such a hypocrite. shouldnt they be conducting tests on foodstuffs constantly, instead of waiting for others to sound the alarm before they go," oh, you shouldnt eat this, you shouldnt eat that. its laced with blah blah blah." they have to wait for others to speak out before they start investigating and becoming yes-men.

2008-09-22T15:30:00.002+08:00

i think i know better- its just a facade.
he wants to be in the spotlight, though others know not.

anyway, General Paper today is screwed up.
honestly.
my essay was shit.
there was no format at all.
no proper, or rather, no topic sentence at all.
conclusion was crap.
the AQ (is it analyse question or analysis question?) was crap as well. got no time to finish it. i think i spent too much time on summary.

i also never brought and never do my EOM. evaluation of material.
i thought we had to hand in on a monday, after the promos.
didnt know it was today.
i was given 1 and a half hours to hand in it.
so i had to cab home and print out a copy, without editing.
and then i had to cab back to school.
damned. 20 bucks gone.
then i went to my grandma house for lunch.
and, coincidentally, she gave me 20 bucks.
so i have no net loss of money.

tomorrow would be my H2 geography and mathematics paper.
i had better score for my geography.
im banking on it for my promotion and my rank points.
mathematics is a gone case.
not to mention it, i havent even updated my calculator for tomorrow.

2008-09-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

daryl is recently inspired by the mega-events thats been happening around him. (F1! Arts biennale! Olympics!)
he now wishes to be an events manager!

i have been slacking a lot a lot a lot. yesterday's post was a testimony to that.
i havent been studying a lot.
my mind's demanding that i study, but i just cant bring myself up to it.
i want to get into the study mood, but i just cant get into it.
despite knowing that this is the do-it-or-fail moment, i cant get the mood.
despite sensing the urgency of the situation, i cant get myself to respond to it appropriately.
i wish i could study like i did 'O' levels.

2008-09-19T20:43:00.006+08:00

promos in what.. 3 days time and as you all are probably mugging hard, guess what i did?
thats right. i went to the Singapore Arts Biennale 2008 @city hall with tricia!

a particular exhibition that i liked a lot.

beautiful ya?

they also had this huge photo of the google earth map of singapore on the floor.

...on the singapore side of the causeway
...on the malaysia side of the causeway.
HAHAHAHAHA!
see, we dedicated our (one per person) post-it notes to you eileen!

Presbyterian High School!
and Nanyang Junior College just so happens to be obscured by clouds.
looks like Google disapprove of them!

this was pasted on the entrance to the Google Earth gallery to form a pattern as shown below.

Quite true ya?
so many ERP gantries up now lar.
my dad told me that drivers like him would have already given up; they just pay instead of trying to look for cheaper roads, where gantries also exist.
Sister's islands looked quite pretty.
shall we go to the beach there one day?
and for NCC inter2s'07, is it in kayakable distance?
if so, lets go there next!
but meanwhile, clarke quay!

this is creepy.
the woman stares at you luh.
its a perfect scene for a ghost movie.

this is creepy too, initially.

the above 3 photos are one of the first exhibitions we saw.
and it was kinda creepy.
this one had no boobs. flat.
we literally ran out of the room after a while, only to return moments later.

it looks like a scrupture yea?
its actually craved into the wall.
and its so 3D that you can see the ass moving along with you as you walk down the aisle.

i took this while on the way home.

i very much look forward to going to the singapore arts biennale @south beach developement.

2008-09-18T00:14:00.000+08:00

夢想。你如果沒有夢想，那么我想你或許失去了盼望吧。
enough of this glirbish.
its just a prelude to my pretty short post of one of my dreams.
i recently heard that many people in taiwan are going on a round-taiwan trip by themselves. its sort of a coming-of-age thing.
sounds so cool.
i want to go do that on a bicycle.
then i can get to explore the infamous 民宿 in taiwan. i can also go have farmstays. and hot springs! and and..
its so exciting!
the other half of that dream is the more impossible part:
to sell a book based on that backpacking trip. actually it would be a diary-style type of book, with all the photos of exciting stuff i did, the delicious taiwanese cuisine, all the places ive been on a day-by-day basis.
and and, i should also make a travel documentary. yes yes.
then i'll get more money to finance another trip. (vietnam! france! thailand!..)

it all sounds so fun.
.. but pretty remote.
still, as obama says,"the audacity of hope."

2008-09-16T01:19:00.003+08:00

doing the I&R would be tantamount to telling a big lie.
i definately do not support animal rights.
just dont let me know you mistreat them in ways that i deem offensive to my sight and its ok.
its just so ironic that i happen to do a project on steve irwin.
come on, people in africa are dying and whatnot and these self-professed compassionate animal rights supporters are trying to see that animals are not being mistreated?
sorry, but i think humans come first.
they are comfortable with human beings, one of our kind, suffering, not just suffering, but dying, across the planet and yet uncomfortable with animals, a lesser being whom we do not understand and cannot relate to, suffer from mistreatment.
what hypocrites animal rights supporters are.

the second lie would be the benefits of project work.
it appears that i have to write in 'lessons learnt', which happens to be virtually non-existant, unless you count the negative lessons learnt.
yea well.
i've learnt that one of my PW group mate suck shit.
i've learnt how useless and time-consuming this is.
i've learnt how impractical this is.
i've learnt how stupid animal rights supporters are.
i've learnt...

2008-09-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

and i skipped chinese today. again.
come to think of it, i've never skipped lessons in secondary school, except for one of those last few days in sec4 before the study leave.
i heard she's gonna complain to DM. because too many people pon her class; another testimony of just how boring her class is.
but, come on, the promos are coming, who gives a damn about chinese?
i mean, of course you would be pia-ing for your promos and skipping irrelevant lessons.
granted, there are chinse promos. but they arent part of the promotion criteria. so, why bother?
who would want to study for chinese and risk failing their promos?
get retained and having an 'A' for chinese 'A' levels doesnt sound like a good deal. and the probability of getting an 'A' in the first place sounds pretty remote.

i went to study at my tuition teacher's house while skipping chinese and PE.
he welcomes me to go to study at his house whenever i want to.
and its pretty comfortable too.
i kind of look forward to tuition every week you know.
its quite fun. for me, at least.

damned. i intended to go swimming tomorrow, whilst skipping chinses.
looks like i cant now.

2008-09-13T11:53:00.002+08:00

i finally got it.
today's sermon reminded me of this: i should hand over the reins of my life over to God.
i have forgotten that in my desperate search for meaning. i've been wondering why i study and the purpose of it all. i've been wondering what would happen, both present and future. i've been wondering about all sorts of alternatives. i've been wondering, dreaming actually, of what i wanna be.
its time i just simply let God take control.

2008-09-12T22:41:00.003+08:00

im recently obsessed with ratatouille.
my general paper tuition teacher had sent me ratatouille to my handphone.
an though i watched it before, im fascinated by the parisian way of life. awed by the way they make cooking so artistic. inspired by the art of cooking and the motto,'anyone can cook'.
ah. that. the idea that anyone achieve whatever he or she aspires to be seems too idealistic doesnt it? seems too much like dream come true?
but thats disney for you.

2008-09-12T11:54:00.002+08:00

i stoned at PE just now in the morning.
while the class was engaged in basketball and volleyball, i sat underneath the basketball ring they were playing at, reminising on the trip to maechan church i had in june.
i had promised them i would put my height to good use; basketball.
life there is so carefree, so easy, so slow, so simple, so thought-less.
ahh. its indescribable.

and now, as i was studying until i decided to blog this, i fiddled with my music box i bought in hokkaido when i was in sec3, on a school trip. it is the wound-up kind. anyway, the town of otaru is, too, so dreamlike. with the music-box shop, with snow-covered footpaths..

and disneyland! the disney town, or whatever its called, with a row of european-like shophouses and road, the cool weather, all the disney characters! and the fireworks there! at the end of it, 2 silver fireworks shot above the castle, towards each other on the opposite sides of the castle, just like what we see in disney movies with their signature castle and fireworks shooting across it.

im badly in need of a get-away.

2008-09-11T22:46:00.000+08:00

i dont see the purpose of it all.
hence, all motivation cease to exist.

2008-09-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

something hilarous happened today morning.
i woke up, then, as usual, lie on my bed and fell back asleep.
then i had a dream.
i dreamt it was still the holidays.
i dreamt that it was saturday and im about to go swimming..
when i woke up.
then, thinking it was still the holidays, fell back asleep.
then i dreamt of traditional tribal dance and my cousin, shanwei was dancing with this random girl.
then i woke up, again.
i glanced at my handphone and saw eileen's sms- we not meeting you today. have maths lecture test or something like that lar.
then i went, OH MY SHIT. ITS NOT THE HOLIDAYS. DAMMIT.
then, realisation hit me.. that i was late for my maths test.
reached school when it was about to end.
so i skipped it.
interesting huh.

2008-09-07T20:11:00.002+08:00

i had crabs.
its somewhere at geylang. damned nice.

i went home to sleep.
and woke up to dinner.
i am eating and sleeping and eating huh.

2008-09-07T00:28:00.002+08:00

after 2 to 3months of not having actual kayak trainings, im beginning to wonder.
seriously, at this rate, what are the chances of me achieving anything?
well, other than a bulkier body.

in this past 1week of holidays, i have been.. not very diligent in studying.
all i completed was a teeny-weeny part of population geography- migration, as well as lithospheric processes and hazards and management.
while at the same time playing ping pong, going out, even going to see the sea competition, swimming and gymming. though i havent got the inspiration to start running. but still.
anyway, im left with 2weeks for the rest of geography, physics and my economics.
i have kind of gave up on mathematics.
im gonna study them after the promos.
yup, you saw it.
after the promos.

actually, wild thoughts such as actually giving-up-and-see-how-it-turns-up idea constantly pops up in my mind, with the idea of retention as as excuse to go to poly sliding in. i mean, wouldnt it be exciting? what if i still get promoted even if i didnt study? it'll be all so worth it and so satisfying. if im not? well, i go poly, which is pretty tempting, ableit the waste of time.
and i have been trying to muster my courage to suggest me getting an education overseas.
ah. damned.
meanwhile, let me get excited over the prospect of tomorrow's crabs.

2008-09-02T22:10:00.003+08:00

i was surfing the net, looking at universities in london, hoping i can go there and catch the 2012 London Olympics at the same time.
it was wishful thinking, by the way.
i can never afford the fees. neither can i get scholarships to go there since i didnt take 4H2s. and even if i did, i must be a smart-ass genius to clinch those. to qualify for the opportunity to be one, firstly, i souldnt be in nanyang junior college. the criteria is to exist in a much smarter and elitist school. like anglo-chinese(independent) or raffles junior college.
i cant remember if its university of east london or university of westminister, but they have got much much more variety than singapore's universities.
singapore's ones cater only to science and business students. go search and compare with foreign ones and you'll know. but cambridge and oxford have surprisingly little variety. its kind of embarassing for me to visit cambridge and oxford; how can i ever have the audacity to visit the websites of such schools? the very mention of these schools brings an air of smartness. it is the essence of intelligence. now, my blog has this smell of clever-ness, doesnt it?
well, as i was saying, the university website that i was visiting have tourism degrees! singapore doesnt have it. and just so you know, europe's tourism history is very rich and date backs quite some time. so, tourism education in britain has got to be pretty recognized. and their website makes tourism much more fun. i didnt get what tourism-relate jobs are in the poly leaflets. i get it now. asshole polys. i should have studied tourism.
working in a museum sounds fun.

so. now. im very very tempted to not study for my promos and see how it turns out.
actually, im half hoping they'll make me retain.
then i can transfer to poly.
because.. lets see my prospects at the 'A' levels. with me not being able to cope with maths, to the extent that i cannot even do a single question on all the tutorials since june, my rank points will be lowered. a 'U' grade for maths would mean that i can only get a maximum of 70/90 rank points. and that is if i get As for my other subjects, which is pretty impossible. so i'll end up with low low rank points which will ensure that i do not get a place in university(singapore). morever, i am not interested in any of the degree courses offered by singapore universities. i do not aspire to be an engineer. nor a lab chemist. nor a businessman. nor a behind-the-desk-finance-job guy. that leaves me with almost nothing to study in singapore.
a diploma is getting increasingly tempting, especially since singapore doesnt offer a tourism degree. neither do they intend to offer one. the forth university will offer courses typical to the government's line; architecture, business and i-forget-what-already.

2008-09-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

had a breakfast-cum-studying session at coffee bean with shuhui today. the breakfast is delicious. quite different from the usual breakfast im used to. shuhui should go work in student care centre sia. hahaha.
then went to orchard road to walk and for her to find a job. walked and walked and walked to city hall. not to mention the heavy bag i had to slug. i'll try not to bring laptop out ever again.

2008-08-31T22:02:00.000+08:00

A TEENAGER'S VIEW OF HEAVEN

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. 'I wowed 'em,' he later told his father, Bruce. 'It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote..' It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. 'I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,' Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. 'I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.'

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'-Phil. 4:13 'For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.' If you feel the same way forward it so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also My 'People I shared the gospel with' file just got bigger, how about yours?

2008-08-30T21:34:00.001+08:00

my cousin teaches muay thai and is going to bangkok to learn more about it for 2weeks before heading back to singapore ot open a gym to teach muay thai.
its 200bucks a month, 2 times a week, though you are more than welcome to go for extra training. its at sultan road, near clarke quay.
i really want to go after promos together with shenghui, who said he wanted to learn since last year. oh. and theres jiahao too. and irfan. but the fees are quite expensive ah. still, im gonna try to get my parents to fund me.
any takers?

2008-08-29T19:19:00.002+08:00

世界有你會亙美好，
沒有人能象你。
在上帝眼中你是寶貴，
在世上你就是唯一。

哦你是如此如此特別在上帝的眼中，
沒有人能取代你。
哦你是如此如此特別在上帝的眼中，
沒有人能取代你。

2008-08-28T00:23:00.002+08:00

the promos are coming and the year is coming to a close.
and yet, i feel i barely know my classmates at all.
it seems as if i had only knew them for a month or two.
perhaps, its the studies, the workload, the tiredness that deprive us of the energy.
or the geographical proximity keeps us apart. after all, who stays in sembawang? i bet some never even heard of this wonderful place that i live in. neither do i know of the various popular hangouts along the NE line that are populated by people of my age.
it could be, our commitments to our ccas that prevents us from forging better relationships.
or is it, that we simply do not want to do it, prefering instead to depend on the solidarity of the bonds that we already forged?
could it be, the clash of school cultures, of differing personalities?

indeed, had i wanted to meet up, our timings would clash. and wherever's familiar and convienient for me would most likely be a an obscure, faraway land to you.
but in the first place, did i make the very first, crucial step out of my comfort zone, to interact with people from various backgrounds, of differing cultures?

2008-08-24T22:56:00.003+08:00

had a bbq at nicholas house for his birthday party.
we got tossed one after another into the pool.

when i came back home, my mum told me that her bone problem, which causes immense pain, may be inheritable.
i was like, shucks.
then i told my dad its time to up my insurance.
his response: thats your problem what. 不關我的事。how can you expect us to... balh blah blah.
i mean, it isnt that i blame my mum for this potential illness, but as my parents dont they have the responsibility to help me fight it?
dont they have the responsibility to ensure that i am financially capable to tackle this problem?
it isnt as if, if i am going to get it in the first place, that its my fault.
its not something that i can control.
morever, its a predictable problem, not something they cannot forsee.
since they know of this threat, as parents, shouldnt they protect me from it and arm me with the neccessary weapons to fight it?
and since they have the financial capability to protect me and provide me with a shield againts potential illnesses, shouldnt they do it?

2008-08-24T00:20:00.003+08:00

gosh.
god really wants me to go to church.
its the second time a fireworls outing has been cancelled.

but i was already out when loy sms-ed me.
was on my way to toa payoh to get a printed shirt as a present for nicholas birthday party tomorrow.
so, i went to chinatown to get some food.
i ate 牛肉面，小龍包，龜苓膏。i also got ba gua.
so that i can walk from chinatown to church(at bugis) having some fingerfood.
and it was drizzling.

it was a sightseeing tour.
i like walking like that.
its nice to see new stuff at places you thought you knew.
at first i didnt know where to head to, just folloing my intuition.
but i saw this.

raffles city is such a great landmark. its behind the hongkong sign.
i wonder if theres a singapore street, or a zimbabwe avenue.
speaking of that, i also saw high street.
hahaboy wonders if low street exists.
oh my gosh.
im addicted to plurking.
i think i'll bring my laptop to school so i can plurk anytime i want.

we should go kayaking one day from kallang river to clarke quay!
i also saw how singaporeans love to jaywalk.

it took one hour.

2008-08-20T23:28:00.002+08:00

the sun-kissed beach.
kayaking through the water.
eating my heart's (stomach actually) full.
catch some movies.
bowling, table tennis-ing, swimming.
anything, but studying.
and yet the promos is just weeks away.

2008-08-19T23:15:00.002+08:00

i like buses.
bus journeys equipped with a mp3.
in my case, its my walkman phone.
after all, my mps's only 256mb compared to my handphone's 2gb.
taking a bus lets you relax and frees you from all the stuff that keeps you busy.
what could you possibly do in a bus?
taking a bus quietens you down, when you are alone, atht is, and gives your mind some alone time, some space. it lets your mind wander off. and daydreaming starts. or parhaps, a bus journey could kickstart an entire thought process. and you start thinking about stuff.

2008-08-18T23:13:00.001+08:00

i learned how to play badminton in school!
that sounds suaku, but, its true.
i tried learning it at primary school.
i tried it once.
and failed to whack that shuttlecock or serve properly, so i gave it up.
until pe today.
erpei and joshua asked me to learn it.
so i did.

2008-08-17T21:40:00.002+08:00

singapore = silver
yay!
we've got something to show after 48years.
did you hear the singapore roar?
its at times louder than the roar of the dragon.
and did you catch the singapore flag being raised up?
did you see the smile on the singapore IOC member as he gave out the silver meals to the singapore team?
the newspaper says he fought to give it to singaporeans.
just see his smile. he was jubilant.
so am i.
and, i think, so are you.

2008-08-17T19:04:00.002+08:00

went swimming just now at yishun swimming complex.
it was tiring.
i felt my body burn everytime i paused to rest.
the water took at least a minute to cool my body down.
maybe because i used a lot of strength to swim.
but still, my swimming is pretty slow.
the last time i swam with mitchell, he swam like no kick like that while i was struggling behind.
oh. and i can only swim breaststroke.
whoever has heard of someone who has got a silver cert for swimming and yet couldnt swim freestyle?
that would be me. i can only swim breaststroke. maybe because i forget or that the swimming instructor i had didnt teach me well or long enough. after all, tampines swimming complex has a lot of young swimmers-wannabes enrolling non-stop many many years ago.
ok. that made me sound so old. did i mention that as i was walking pass canberra primary to go home, some boys kicked a ball out and said,'uncle, can... the ball?'
dammit. im not old.
someone in maechan also thought i was in my twenties.
how intelligent of her.
anyway, i suspect that most 'swimmers-wannabes' are forced to learn. just like me.

that china slut in my class, sprouting high-pitched chinese in chinese slang has got me anti-china-chinese these few days.
the pool is filled with the likes of them.
theres 3 guys with their chines slang.
when i go up for a drink, a couple with the chinese slang.
back in the pool, another pair of guys and a pair of girls with the distinctive chinese accent.
foreigners are so prevalent in singapore.

2008-08-16T23:51:00.001+08:00

right now, i feel like swimming.
maybe i shall tomorrow.
i feel like swimming, swimming non-stop.
swimming til im exhasted.
swim and swim and swim and forget about everything else.
just swim.

2008-08-15T21:11:00.003+08:00

so today my church 牧師 asked my out for a dinner.
and he brought me to this obscure toa payoh food cntre thats near the sph building.
its this stall called botakjones
he ordered this huge burger for me that has 3 beef patties.
and they're not your macdonald's sized patties; its a least 4times the thickness of the macdonald's patties.
whoa.
i eat till damn shiok.
then he ordered tiramisu and pasta for me.
i have never felt so full for so long.

2008-08-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

得寸進尺。
thats what i would use to describe that chinese slut.
she should just go back to beijing and watch her olympics.
i handed in 1 piece of assignment. and she actually demanded more, this time with threats of telling the '主任老師，副校長，校長'
bitch.

its the first time i see xiaoman this shy. hahaha.

2008-08-11T23:48:00.003+08:00

oh. did i mntion?
my mum said i could transfer to poly if i really want to.
she said, '我們最多就能給你這么的鼓勵了.'
so, i have another choice! :D

and now, white water kayaking and judo is on.
im spoilt for choice.

2008-08-11T23:41:00.003+08:00

the olympics is so cool and exciting that i'd wished i could skip school to complete the olympics. the whitewater kayaking was especially exhilarating. so was fencing.
or i should just travel around singapore and get lost. and get to see all the things i've never had the chance or the time to see, here, in my home country of 17years and 11days.

2008-08-11T13:58:00.003+08:00

that chinese slut complained to my parents that i did the most productive thing one could ever do in her class-sleep.
her high-pitch chinese chang is and all her high-pitched 'ah' at the end of virtually every sentence is irritating me.
so now, im stuck at home.
supposedly to complete all of her work.
maybe i'll do one.
then crumple it and tear off bits of it.
theres always the dog, see.
then i can tell her, '戚然你這么喜歡和我父母聊天，那么就讓你去問我家有沒有狗ah.'
stupid bitch.
of course, that'll seem childish.
but im the 硬碰硬 kind of person.
especially when a part of my life has violated another, i could not take it.
like, in this instance, school and home.

now im stuck at home instead of watching the mummy, tomb of the dragon emporer.
and i couldnt go swimming.
dammit.

2008-08-10T23:20:00.000+08:00

我雖還沒跑完這場賽，
還離終點很遠很遠，
但我已累了。
我很想停止，也很想放棄。
我已對前面的道路沒有信心，沒有彷望。
我不肖得，也不敢去想。
看到周遭的人都還過得好好的，
難免會覺得有所慚愧，有所可惜。
但，我已累了。

2008-08-10T18:59:00.003+08:00

i honestly hope that tao li will lose.
i would rather singapore not get that medal than let that selfish brat claim it.

singapore's bryan tay just came in first in the 200m freestyle swimming heat 2.

im not good at chairing meetings huh.
luckily huchi dao shi was there.

went to gym with rivin.
saw many ncc people.
firstly, we saw gary teo, our PS when we were basic2s.
he recognises irvin, but not me.
so i went up to intro.
secondly, andrew, our Ps when we were in basic1.
not that i saw him often in those times that i went for trainings in sec1.
he didnt attend a lot of them.
but he's become damn buff.
he did benchpress, without support, the free bar one, with 40kg per side.
then theres senior clt farah, or whatever the rank they call it nowadays.
she has golden, brown and black hair all mixed up and spiked up.

2008-08-10T00:23:00.004+08:00

god really does want me to go to church.
he made almost everyone unavailable for fireworks.
they either end up busy, sick, or have sick relatives, or just plain lazy.
he also made sure that i felt it was going to rain.

anyway, went to casualpoet with shuhui just now.
it was very 偏僻.
and yet, there was a decent cliente. the ambience there is fantastic and the notebooks, such that i wished i'd bought the entire collection.
i finally got to read a book. never found the time to do so. morever, the atmosphere is ideal for book-reading. its also good for studying. i studied my physics, see.
if my dad owned such a cafe, i think i would get straight As already.

and of course, food, too, is neccessary.
but the ambience, the ambience.
it makes me really want to open a cafe.
though theres a risk that i'll go bankrupt.

i like singapore for all that peace and memories it has given me. but i kind of hate its education system and the kind of future that singapore stood for.
i kind of get the feeling that the singapore education system is shaped in such a way that students are churned out exactly the way the singapore economy requires.
just look at singapore's universities. they are all filled with courses that are geared towards the kind of jobs that the government encourages us to enter. like engineering, chemistry stuff and those office office jobs. if you would compare overseas universities, they have had a much larger variety.
now, i have absolutely no interest in being an engineer. neither would i want to work in a lab. nor an office, for about 35years of my life. im an idealist. i would prefer interesting jobs over practicality. for now at least. i mean, who wouldnt want a job that one is genuinely interested in. granted, there are those that like those careers mentioned above. but i bet a majority of them chose them for the sake of practicality over interest. and i salute them. they are willing to spend so much of their lives doing things that do not interest them.
now, back to the singapore education system thats supposed to grant us freedom of choice. but actually, it restricts us. it allows us to choose within the framework of the educational choices that are given to us by the singapore government. it also guides us into careers that the government thinks is good for the economy. the educational system here also determines the economy here which causes the entire thing to snowball. look, if the singapore is churning out engineers, more engineering and precision-manufacturing firms would invest in singapore, which in turn creates more demand for such skills, which would encourage the government to produce more engineers.
now, what about the other kind of jobs that, in my opinion, the government has neglected? my cousin had to go to england to study to be a speech therapist. can you get that kind of education in singapore? what about being a psychologist? your education has to be overseas.
meanwhile, let me dream about the dream jobs i could have.

2008-08-09T00:05:00.001+08:00

advertisement time!
i should get money for these la.
anyway, these hersey's stick milk chocolates are fantastic.

2008-08-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

happy birthday singapore!

2008-08-08T22:45:00.001+08:00

the olympics!
im waiting for the singapore contigent

2008-08-08T02:38:00.001+08:00

its been pretty long since i ate this.

2008-08-07T23:45:00.002+08:00

went gym with irvin yesterday.
didnt know there was kayak gym training mah.
shenghui was right.
as vice-captain, how can i not know when's training.
before that i saw ash ng and clement, gimhwa, yijie and changhui at the market behind PHS.
i went there to eat, see.
well, i jolly am glad that im not in ncc anymore.
there seem to be a lot of changes.
their sea competition is not what we used to have.
its a 100m sprint and a 50m sprint, both in straight lines, with the shorter one for the part As.
hey.
100m.
you can barely kayak la.
its like, there not enough time for overtaking.
so whoever starts out first confirm win already.
and their orienteering now has a theory component.
ncc has warpped from a cca into a theory-based cca.
it sort of defeats the purpose of having a cca since you have to study for it.
well, thats what i think at least.
but from the way ash ng asid it, it sounds as if the best unit is within arm's length.
aftre gymming with irvin, i wanted to go to boon keng to take my H1 econs notes that i left at my GP tuition teacher's house.
but i missed the bus from yio chu kang that would have brought me to serangoon.
so i took bus 72, a bus that would go to tampines via hougang, so said the driver.
so i hoped on.
and i saw many factories and new HDB flats with nice new roads.
getting to new places is fun, you know.
you get to see new stuff which spices up my otherwise monotonous lifestyle.
but i didnt know where to alight.
so i stopped at somewhere near a shopping centre in hougang, thinking that the mrt station was there.
it wasnt.
who the heck would build a shopping centre away from an mrt station?
its usually shopping centre=mrt station nearby.
so i had to walk around and take another bus to hougang.
and then, i saw ash ng on the bus again.
so, this is my journey to hougang. lol.

the chicken rice stall at my tuition teacher there is damn cheap.
with extra rice, it costs $2.80.

2008-08-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

thanks for the t-shirt.
though i cant wear it.
i think the ink will run.

2008-08-02T23:55:00.008+08:00

went for my hotcakes breakfast with shuhui in the morning just now.
then i went to SAJC with jeriel.
they having open house mah.
so i went to see see.
then, at the same time, pay yongpin a visit.
he's a school councillor, you know. not just that. he is in exco, as a treasurer.
anyway, the school compound quite small la. but quite nice leh.
their cultural centre is like, better than our LT4 la.
and their school field beat ours hands down.
the saint andrew secondary even got an artificial pitch, specially made for rugby. as in, there aint any football goalposts or demarkations at all.
also attended one of their physics talk. their lecture seems quite fun la. its like every lecture got live demonstration de. and since, their lecture hall is smaller, its easier to see. they demonstrated circular motion by putting water in a pail and swinging it in circles vertically by a rope.
the water didnt, and isnt, supposed to fall by the way.
so, their lectures seem more professional.
but as jeriel said, its the school culture that matters la.
its the decisive factor.
i think that had i went for SAJC open house last year, i would probably wind up there now.
church's next.
some miscommunication for a camp meeting la.
oh, and shuhui.
remember the print shop at raffles city we went to before we went to the toy museum?
i got myself one of those. its 41 bucks.

then my brother told me the youth service people are coming to church on saturday, today, to celebrate mine and yizhen's birthday.
end up?
they didnt know it was mine too.
a bag of food meant for her was split into two on the spot to give to me.
so i get the feeling that im like an unwanted guest.
in the first place, why ask me go when most of those present didnt know?
i would rather you people dont bother asking me along then make me feel so..
it made me feel so lonely and unwanted lar.
although they did try their best to include me.
as in, if you are in my shoes, the kind of feelings, you would have experienced too.

4grace still better man. way better.
come to think of it, 0829 ,who knew me for 6months compared to up to 5 years for a couple of them there, knew and could remember luh.
some of them knew me longer than the people in 4grace.
ok. ignore my ranting.

then i went for the saturday night service.
its the adults one.
the service made me feel so much better.
and now, i just had supper at toa payoh.
near adeline's house there.

2008-08-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

2008-08-01T00:20:00.001+08:00

my birthday.

2008-07-30T23:59:00.003+08:00

thats me in a rugby cap.
well, my class have a rugby captain and vice-captian.
so..
i actually do miss rugby you know..

anyway, today's kallang training was cancelled.
'till further notice'
for whatever reasons i could not fanthom.

2008-07-29T22:20:00.001+08:00

my stomach is hurting.
i feel like vomiting even though im hungry.
my cough too, is getting worse already.

2008-07-27T22:14:00.004+08:00

my housing estate recently, actually a month ago, allowed people to farm at our roof garden.
so, its filled with veggies and wooden boards bordering the farm patches of individuals who registered and booked those patches.

anyway, wouldnt it be great if we could just kayak to the singapore river to watch the NDP and the fireworks?
haha.

2008-07-27T18:39:00.002+08:00

went to kallang for training yesterday.
finally used a k1 kayak.
but, without sit.
i had difficulty getting onto the kayak from the beach.
so, the seat have to be removed, and my ass were all cramped up and my feet numb.
even now, my hips are all blue-black, thanks to the slimness of the K1.
even so, i think i capsized around 40 times or more throughout the entire training la.
there was 1 time when i capsized in the canal between B1 and B2.
then chorteng rescued me.
then i capsized immediately twice.
i must really work on my balance man.
the wrist thingy was kinda hard.
it has been more of a habit already.
thus..

anyway, i had beef noodles after that at beach road.
i also had goreng pisang.

2008-07-25T23:37:00.001+08:00

my supper of satay and bbq chicken wings have arrived.

2008-07-25T23:00:00.001+08:00

im eating porridge now.
and later, theres jelly and the new magnum ice cream waiting for me.
the ecuador dark magnum.

i seem like an advertiser for food.

2008-07-25T00:11:00.001+08:00

i just ate dinner.
and fed my dogs with rice.

studying at school is really conducive.

2008-07-24T02:09:00.000+08:00

maths suck.
i dont understand a single shit about APGP.

2008-07-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

im addicted to this.
dark chocolate mocha frapp.
so much so that i have given up on redbull.
come to think of it, its been a month since i drank redbull.
and you know, redbull is a much cheaper addiction.

ah.coffee.
it really makes me wanna be a barrista.
if i get to own a cafe..
to me, the typical singapore jobs like engineering, banking, tourism and the research kind of stuff, in other words, the degrees offered in singapore, are pretty boring.
come on, who wants to spend the rest of their lives handling conical flasks?
or laying electrical cables?
or rotting behind desks?

its been months since my house was infested with 2 dogs.
its time i post pictures.

thats them waiting for food.
they always wait to eat my rice whenever im having dinner.
so i give them some.
the next two pictures are taken too, when they were demanding rice.

2008-07-23T03:42:00.002+08:00

daryl wished he could be ill.
so that he could get more sleep and rest at home instead.
sleep is something that i sorely lack.
if i had kids, i'll try my best not to allow them to enter this ridiculously torturous education system of singapore.

2008-07-20T21:55:00.008+08:00

.. is where i went with shuhui on saturday. jealous?

i used to have them. the bullets were oranged tipped. haha.

cruel kiddos.
donald duck!
astroboy! i didnt really watch him and his cartoons.
i was looking forward to seeing these red little brit soldiers. i thought there would be tin soldiers or wooden ones, in their smart red coat and tall furry black hats, carrying that wooden rifles. but then, this was all they got.

how can a toy museum not have cars?

godzilla
it even got bruce lee!
guess what shuhui called ultraman? ...'superman'
felix the cat. couldnt remember much about him. but i remembered him! haha
mickey mouse! haha. i like mickey mouse a lot man.

as well as tom and jerry
flintstones! i havet watched that cartoon for quite some time. i used to liek watching them drive their 'car' with their feet.
tin tin! i dont know much about this. except that i know he always wear that detective-looking costume and his dog and a old, bearded sailor whose purpose in the show i didnt know.
popeye
' batmam', according to shuhui.

its actually very fun there.
all the toys and everything.
though its quite small..
but still.
it costs 7.50 bucks for us schoolers.
the ambience there is also very good la.
i think next time when i become depressed, if that happens, or if i need inspiration or some quiet moment or time to myself or.. or.. well, you get the drift... i'll head there.
the sofa place and the high ceiling.
haha. its so relaxing at that spot.
i declare it mine.
and i tried the dark mocha frappucino at starbucks already.
finally.

2008-07-19T01:24:00.003+08:00

i watched dark knight!
haha.
they shouldnt call the show dark knight.
it sort of take away the batman-ty feeling away from the show.

went to watch with mono, irvin, jiahao, irfan, shuhui, tricia and loy.
luckily i have no curfew.
or rather, its a blurred line.
i have not got grounded before either.
anyway, ya.
we went to causeway point to watch.
then it was so full we took the 2nd row.
my poor arse.
my poor neck.
my poor butt.
batman was damn cool.
and the joker,
still quite scary as before.
he's like a total lunatic la.
total maniac.
and the fighting was cool man.
so was the batman's gear.

there was this one part where i got touched.
it was the evacuation of gotham city.
so there were two ships.
one with ordinary people and the other with prisoners, all accopanied by police and the national guard.
then, through a sound system, the joker told them that the ships were lined with explosives and each ship held the denotator to blow up the other ship.
and he said that, by 15 minutes, if no one blows up either ship, both ships explode.
so there was this situation on the ordinary people boat whereby the police tried to prevent some from trying to blow the other ship. and then, they took a vote. it was like, 60% to 30% agreed to blow up the other ship. but none moved. until one guy could not stand it anymore and grabbed the device. he wanted to blow it up, but the policeman guy on board reminded him that the people on the other ship had not blown up their ship, that they did not just think for themselves.in the end, he returned the denotator.
on the prisoner ship, there was a bit of scruffling initially. but later, all stopped. its as if they were all prepared to die. like they never intended to blow up the other ship like that. or its just that those who do, dared not move. then suddenly one guy went up and said to the policeman something about, if you had no balls to do it, i'll do it and that he said that he should have done that 10minutes ago. guess what he did? he chucked the detonator into the river outside.that was brave la.
in the end, both ships did not blow up.
to me, this scene hit me very powerfully. i think if im on the ship, i'll vote to not kill off the other ship, its murder after all. but the thought of waiting to die when you have a terrible alternative is unendurable. and, the prisoners seemed so much more able to sacrifice themslves than the ordinary folks.

"why so serious?"
... as the joker puts it.

2008-07-17T21:51:00.006+08:00

the photos arent uploaded yet.
but i have a few on my handphone.
anyway, this was about last saturday, celebrating adeline's birthday.
we ate at the shokudo japanese food bazaar.
its like mache..
only nicer.
the payment works like this.
you get a card when you enter the restaurant.
then you scan the card for the food you ordered.
then you pay for everything when you exit the place.

my mushroom and vegetable hotpot.
mushrooms are one of the best food on earth.

my cha soba.
in other words, cold noodles.
the noodles are iced.
as in ice cold.
then you dip it into the black bowl containing sauce before eating.
i pured in condiments from the small plate into the sauce.
luckily tricia asked what was the lumpy thing that i dumped in.
cos its wasabi.

and this and this.
the mango ice thingy.
its layered one, you know.
as in, ice topped with mango and lots of syrup before another layer of ice is added, and its continues..
the ice was so drenched in the mango syrup la.
and i tried apple vinegar drink.
its tasted like zappel, only a bit more sour.
and it has a special taste.
quite nice la.

me at clarke quay.

anyway, chinese 'A' levels listening comprehension was fine.
though i dozed off for a while when one of the passages, the second or third one i think, was being read.
and i slept throughout the moment all the passages were read out and hence could not check my answer.
then went to library to study abit with xiaoman and yiwei.
we had originally intended to watch red cliff.
but the available timings were either at 3plus, when the chinese listening was still on-going or at around 6pm.
but actually, it didnt make much of a difference, since we left school at 5.30pm, heading to a prata shop when..
xiaoman mentioned that CHOMP CHOMP was just 10minutes away from NYJC.
so obviously we went there.
haha.
ate bbq chicken wings, fried carrot ckae and fried oyster.
if i hadnt known that chomp chomp was just a stone's throw away from nyjc, my years in nyjc would be wasted.
so wasted.
now, i know where to go for my long breaks.

2008-07-16T23:17:00.001+08:00

my maternal grandmother is now staying at my house

2008-07-16T22:44:00.002+08:00

there was a boy
there was a boy
just a teeny weeny boy
just a teeny weeny boy
and the boy was on the boat, and the boat was on the stream and the stream was on its WAY-AY...
and the moon shines high in the clear blue sky
and all was bright and gay
pom pom pom pom.

there was a hand...

im in the mood for cheers now.

2008-07-14T22:42:00.003+08:00

everyone's moving on.
so move along, daryl.

by the way, i got my first above-the-borderline-score.
its geography, with a percentage of 63.
and my GP was 27/50.
well, my GP tuition does help..

oh man.
oh man.
i want to watch red cliff and dark knight!

7-eleven started selling the dark choclate mocha from starbucks.
i just tried it.
it tasted awesome.

2008-07-12T23:58:00.003+08:00

went to gym with mono, perh, jiahao and Irvin.
we saw Joel at the sembawang mrt station.
then after gym we went to eat mos burger.
its been long since i ate mos burger.
we saw SzeWei, pingfan and kerliang.
the last time i saw pingfan and kerliang was when we took our O level results la.
so we played basketball.
see, i am trying to play basketball.
to fulfill my promise to the people in Maechan.
but i still suck at it la.
and i doubt i would have time to continue to do so.
its just that kayaking trainings have taken a break for a couple of weeks, that i have the time.

then after that, went to raffles city to celebrate Adeline's birthday, which was on the 9 july.
on the way, i saw deyang and ash ng.
i met so many people today. what a day man.
anyway, i was supposed to go to church.. but then.
so, yup.
HongZhen, Loy, Tricia and eileen were there as well.
we bought 17 doughnuts for adeline to celebrate her 17th birthday.
after that, we went to clarke quay, at the clinic, for a drink.

will put up photos some day.

2008-07-10T17:57:00.003+08:00

our whole kayak team didnt make it to the finals.
they were all booted out in the semi-finals.

during trainings, i look at them, they are fast.
but, in the competition, i see faster, stronger kayakers.
its scary.
its intimidating.

my maths is now back to what add maths was to me in presbyterian high.
summation and apgp is like- blank, to my field-sized brain.
haha.

anyway, there was this twin rainbow just now at macritchie reservoir.
damn cool la.
god's creation is indeed amazing.

2008-07-09T20:08:00.002+08:00

the topic of today's chinese oral was on people rejecting government scholarships.

2008-07-08T23:45:00.002+08:00

kayak 'A' division starts today.
but nope, no J1s from NYJC are participating.
its seems the case for SAJC too.
ben lam said he wont be participating this year too.
at least i dont feel like im the only one going there to watch.
as in, the only school la.
its kind of boring,
sitting down there and watch the races..
for hours and hours.
at the same time, its exhilarating.
people all drawn together to race for their passion towards kayaking.
and all the excitement that is in the air as the kayakers paddle for all their lives worth.
its also kind of intimidating to be there.
looking around and seeing all the strong kayakers everywhere.
luckily im decent-sized,
not to mention my towering height.

anyway, its my chinese 'A' levels oral examinations tomorrow.

2008-07-08T00:57:00.000+08:00

im going grow fat and die.

2008-07-06T19:26:00.002+08:00

Shahrin's got a photo of me zhaokeng-ing in the botanical gardens.
it always happens, in PHS and NYJC.
i really live up to my name, yea?

2008-07-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

my kayaking has detoriated.
im thrashed by everyone.

2008-07-04T00:27:00.005+08:00

yesterday night, as i was clearing up my email of all the advertisements and stuff, i went to look at our infamous chain-mails.
they make me miss 4grace even more.
...anyway...

i wore my jersey today.
and i felt so naked..

we had gym training today.
it was 3 weks since we had training.
sprints made me feel giddy.
i saw stars.
and there this dragonboat J2 who cae over and taught us to do benchpresses-his style.
he asked us our max weight.
mine is 17.5kg each side.
so he put 15kg and asked me to do till i buang.
that is, till i could do no longer and needed lots of support to lift it.
then he would remove 2.5kg weights from each side and the process would start all over again, with him removing 2.5kg each time.
its damn exhausting.
till i was struggling when no weights were added.

anyway, i got back my physics and maths.
my maths was a flunk-22.5 out of 70.
that is, 32%.
physics was 25.5 out of 70 and 13 out of 15 for MCQ.
so overall, its 53%.
thank god i had studied my cousin's notes for physics.
the MCQ had some theoratical questions that in NYJC tutorials, we would never come across.
but hwachong always sets aside at least half a page for theoratical questions in their tutorials.

.. PERTH! hahaha.
something that i can look forward to.

2008-07-02T17:47:00.002+08:00

even though everything's changing,
the Lord's love for me will never change.
even if the sky tumbles and the oceans roar,
God will be there.

i saw this poster that says,
i believe that the sun has risen,
not because i see it,
but because by it, i see everything else.

2008-07-01T23:50:00.002+08:00

project work is boring.
nanyang junior college has decided to set aside an entire week dedicated to project work.
so its like 7 to 9hours of project work a day.
and its mentally exhausting.

oh and.
i watched get smart with eileen and her classmates-yanying, stephanie and chengweng.
i just pangseh my pw group to watch a movie. haha
anyway, the movie is damn funny.
i was laughing throughout.

and tomorrrow..
further intensive pw..

OH YA.
guess what?
i actually passed my physics.
though i dont know the score yet.

2008-07-01T08:15:00.002+08:00

shuhui's polaroid.

..and how we are so fascinated by it.

and i just sent an email to my japanese hosts in chitose yesterday.